First handful of jelly bellies: no disgusting flavors. It's gonna be a good day 1 week ago
Dear Demi Lovato: next time you release a shitty song, please don't make the start of it sound like "I would walk 500 miles." What a dis ... 1 week ago
Four days into work and the coffee already tastes like tanned hide smells. Gonna be a loooong summer 2 weeks ago
Haven't tweeted in 2 weeks? Man, I'm less active than... than... Lou Bega? The Macarena guys? Pee Wee Herman? #rustytweeter#examlife1 month ago