Jonny T: Uncut

When discussing potential ideas for this blog, the idea of an interview segment came up repeatedly.  Numerous names were tossed around as potential interview subjects (and hopefully you’ll get to see some of those at a later date).  However, when it came to premiering this new segment, as well as ending the two week absence from my blog, there was only one person that came to mind: Jonny T.

 

A living legend, Jonny T (his full name will not be used here for employability reasons, but you know who I’m talking about anyways) made an indelible mark on Yellowknife during his high school career, and for a few years afterward, before he finally got himself together and headed off to school.  Now graduated for the second time, John shares some of his thoughts with garretthinchey.com in the first edition of “The Interview,” which we’re titling “Jonny T: Uncut.”

*Disclaimer: The views of Jonny T are purely for entertainment purposes, and do not reflect the views of garretthinchey.com.  As well, there will be some mature language and discussion.  Read on at your own peril.*

*Note: This conversation took place over Facebook over the course of a month or so.  My questions are in regular font and red colour, John’s answers are in italics.  Enjoy!

 

For those readers out there who don’t know who you are, would you mind introducing yourself? Maybe providing a little background?

I’m pretty sure both of your readers know who I am, Garrett. But to humour you… My name is John. I like to rock hard. My background is a large window, with grass on the outside. There are a few birds.

You’ve lived in Yellowknife your entire life, recently leaving to attend school. Can you share some of your best memories of Yellowknife with us?

You are very right Garrett, affirmative. I did live in Yellowknife for quite some time. There are so many memories….so little time but I will try:

 
1. The plethora of drunken nights and encounters: waking up In my bed in only a parka, vomiting blue in the raven bathroom, listen man, I have to do work I’ll send more at a later date

*Three Days Later*

I’ve been doing some intense soul-searching over the past few days and have come up with a few more memorable memories- this is a lot harder than I thought, wow.

• Shariff Adam vs. Karlee Bell in grade 8, an epic match-up if there ever was one. Believe me. I can picture it like it was yesterday.
• Harji Sidhu and I cruising around as I desperately tried to sober up enough to go home in Grade 12… we had some intense conversations…I think, to this day “Johnji” is a force to be reckoned with.
• The taste of Bruno’s pizza, at 3am, on the way down or on the way back up, all across Canada I have never had better.
• Running through the school with water guns and balloons on the last day of grade 12… the only two water balloons that actually exploded were direct hits to the tall kid with the fish lips a year below us and to the infamous snap-case Sean Ross who was making out with his girlfriend. He returned fire by hurling large rocks and racially charged insults.
• CKLB radio CJCD (minus the J-Bear, pretty sure you said “good memories”)
• Sasko Taskov.
• Tin Can Hill parties, especially the guys party that we pulled out of our asses (figuratively speaking) it definitely exceeded all expectations
• Mr. Hernando’s complete lack of control over his music class, s*** happened. I was the only asshole that had to play trumpet, everyone else just rocked out in the lunch room for the afternoon.
• C.T.R. The nickname says it all.
• The fact I’ve poured beer on Amanda Lillis and she has blamed someone else both times…until now.
• Steven Black drawing a “phallic symbol” on the back of Sasko’s shirt…in pen. Remember the time he sprayed Sasko in the face with the board cleaner?  Priceless.
• Mr. Lacey’s brutally s****y English class and his explanation of the welsh word “cwm” No offense if you read this Steve, the class was a circle jerk.

Aside from that, there are countless others that I can’t think of at the moment or are waaay too inappropriate or just plain embarrassing to me and/or others: like the time I pissed off Meika Stewart’s deck onto a few nameless individuals…

There goes my political career.

You’ve had a pretty storied academic career; what does it mean to you to be among the first of the grad ’07s to be graduated from post secondary? Are you going to miss school?

Mr. Hinchey, it seems like a lifetime ago that we were forced to “Battlestations” in Mr. Willoughby’s Social Studies 30 class. That class was probably the epitome of foolishness- until the exam… when we rocked the piss out of it. Someday Disney will make a movie out of our story.

 
I often think graduating on time was one of my bigger mistakes – I should’ve done a few “victory laps” of grade 12….if I went back with what I know now…well on second thought, I’d like to stay out of prison so I’ll just stick to a creep through the bushes beside memory lane.

I will miss school though, not so much my “false start” at Camosun in Victoria… what a s*** show… its amazing how little homework you get in business if you don’t go to class. The best thing about going to Business class was dropping out, and all the good times I had with friends while there, and getting into a fight with multiple homeless men and their sleeping dog… also the one night in Nanaimo. Seriously though, after my first day in business I thought I’d spent my day napping in a room full of Zyklon B.

As for this year (that’s right b****, I took a one year course) it has been a slice and I will definitely miss being in an institution of higher learning – I hope one of you get the joke, not that many of your readers have kept reading this far….

 
F*** I can’t even remember the question. I guess I gotta grow up now that I’m starting a career- I said the same thing after high school and I didn’t at all…mind you I didn’t get any younger soo…Baby steps?

How do I feel to be in the first wave of 07′s to graduate? I just ate wings that are disagreeing with my stomach slightly. In the larger picture nobody is more surprised than myself…Except Yvonne Careen, my grade 6 teacher, I really don’t think she had much hope for me. I guess I party with a lot of old people as well now.  

Wait a mouse just crawled out of my wall, or is it Luke Balint? Nope, it’s a mouse. I’ll be back.

If you could be an animal, what kind, and why?

When I was about seven I would’ve said a dog (concidentally, that’s the last time I was asked this question). Obviously my horizons have broadened slightly since then and I would have to go with…

Harji Sidhu’s moustache. Why? Clearly there are massive disadvantages to this position; let me list them.

• The s*** that spews forth from his lips might occasionally get stuck to me
• The blistering heat of the copious amounts of curry he consumes could singe my fur.
• I would find out where those lips have been.

And on the plus side..

• I would frame an excellent set of white teeth
• I could link with his goatee and silence his lips…it would be golden
• I would be able to prove a moustache could have a higher IQ than it’s host.

I you could punch one person on earth in the stomach, without repercussions, who would it be, and why?

If I could punch someone in the stomach…no matter who… It’s a tough call.  Ellen Degenerates is an option. The black guy in UFC (Rashad Evans) irritates me as well. Vince from Slap Chop and Keanu Reeves. Mother Theresa, nobody can be that perfect. Scott Hartnell, Chris Pronger and the rest of the Flyers, for obvious reasons. Most drivers in Ontario except for the girls I mooned on the 401- they’ve had their punishment.

If you could relive one year of your life, which one would it be? And why?

I think the question should be can you re-do two years? I would say no but I’d like to review it…you know? I’m actually way toon drunk yonanswer *Two Weeks Later*
One year to re-do…probably my birth year, 1989 – everything was so new and exciting. It was also the last year of the ’80′s… many changes were about to take place… Communist China busted a move on thousands of unarmed protesters in Tiananmen Square…with tanks. My main man Gorbachev became President of the Soviet Union and The USA invaded Panama, nobody noticed. Rainman won best picture, San Francisco won the Super Bowl and Calgary won the Stanley Cup.

I also got laid for the first time and drank my first beer.
Finally, before we wrap things up: any thoughts on the World Cup? Predictions? (Note: This question was asked during the World Cup)

My prediction for the cup would have to be North Korea. Enough said.

Thanks for this, bud.  Good luck with wherever your journeys may take you.

So that about wraps it up for this segment of “The Interview!”  Hope you enjoyed it.  Have a question for John?  Want to tell him to get his butt back to Yellowknife?  Use the comments section!